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Daily Dose

Toddler Behavior

1.30 to read

Do you have a toddler? If so you are in the throes of some difficult, albeit sometimes funny, yet inappropriate behavior. It happens to every parent...suddenly their precious child turns into Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.  Somewhere around 15-18 months, you will most likely see this change in behavior. Although most books refer to the “terrible twos” I really think it is the “me no wanna” 18-30 month old. 

“Me no wanna” is the phrase we often used around our house, and it was coined when the boys were toddlers. It just seemed like the best line when our sweet toddler would rather have a tantrum than do the simple task that we wanted him to do. Example: please put your toy back in the box. “Me no wanna”, I would prefer to fall to the floor and scream.   

How is it that your typically sweet 20 month old child can be in middle of playing nicely and then suddenly seems possessed as they fling themselves to the floor kicking and screaming?  What is the matter?  Are they having a seizure? Or is it that “something” just didn’t seem right to them and they are angry and frustrated???  How can they change behavior so quickly.?   (hint, foreshadowing for those teen years). 

You never know with a toddler what kind of answer you will get when you say something as easy as “let’s get on your shoes to go outside”. Sometimes they happily run get the shoes, bring them to you, sit down and the shoes go on licitly split.  The next time they get the shoes, throw them across the room, lay on the floor and look at you like “me no wanna”. 

Trust me, you are not a “bad” parent, you are just living through some really challenging parenting. It is exhausting at times, but while this age is typically difficult it is some of your most important parenting. This is really the beginning of behavior modification.  Your brilliant toddler is testing you, this may be the first time you the parents understand why everyone talks about boundaries and consequences. 

Some children also express their “me no wanna” by acting out with hitting, biting and kicking. Again, very inappropriate behavior. Your job is to change that behavior by using time out, or taking away a toy or even putting the child to bed early.. There are so many ways to start letting your toddler know that there are consequences for misbehaving, and that tantrums don’t work. 

I am in throes of “me no wanna” again, only this time it is with a puppy! Seems very similar to me.

Daily Dose

Early Talkers

1.15 to read

Is your child a precocious talker?  Most children start to acquire words around 12-15 months, but that means 5-10 words and building. By the time a child is 18 months old they are often mimicking when you ask them to say a word, and some are putting 2 words together. This is all very normal development. But there are few children who are just “early talkers” who are speaking in full sentences by the time they are 18-24 months! 

I think having such a verbal child during the early toddler years is both a “blessing and a curse”. I know that from raising my own children, where my oldest was quite verbal by 20 months, and was “bossing us around” before age 2!!  I also see this same dilemma in my little patients.  While some parents are worried that their 2 year old does not put 3-4 words together, others want to know how you can stop the chatter.  Parents.....we always have issues. 

Example:  When I come into the exam room for a 2 year old check up, the precocious talker looks up and says, “Hi Dr. Sue...what took you so long?”.  Or they may tell their parent that they “don’t need any help” as I ask them to climb on the exam table. Recently a little boy looked right at his mother and said, “I’ve got this”, when I asked him to take off his shoes.  

On another day a little girl was impatient to leave and kept asking her mother if they could go to the park after they left my office.  The mother kept telling the little girl, “maybe” . Finally, exasperated, the 2 year old said, “what’s the answer, yes or no?””  How do you keep a straight face? 

A verbal child can bring you to your knees, both laughing and sometimes wanting to cry.  How can a 2 year old know just what to say to make a parent feel inadequate?  Is it inborn? This seems to be especially true if you have had another child and the 2 year old is instructing you on how to parent “their baby”.   

So, if your child is a talker write down all of those clever sentences they blurt out......one day you will look back and laugh.  I often saw myself in my 2 year old as he told complete strangers , “my mommy says my baby brother cries all of the time, and he has colic!”  Out of the mouth of babes, and I still remember it.  Bittersweet.

Your Toddler

High Chair Recall Due to Fall Danger

1:30

Nuna Baby Essentials has recalled eight models of their baby high chairs because the arm bar can bend or detach during use, posing a fall hazard to children.

Nuna has received 50 reports of the arm bar detaching, including six reports of children falling from the high chair. Four incidents resulted in injuries, including bruising and a cut on the forehead.

This recall includes ZAAZTM high chairs in eight models: HC-07-004 (pewter), HC-07-005 (carbon), HC-07-006 (plum), HC-07-009 (almond), HC-08-004 (pewter), HC-08-005 (carbon), HC-08-006 (plum) and HC-08-009 (almond). ZAAZ and the model number are printed under the high chair seat on a white sticker. These high chairs look like a regular kitchen table chair and have removable trays, arm bars footrests, seat pads and harnesses so that they can convert into toddler chairs. “Nuna” is printed above the footrest of the unit.

The high chairs were sold at Albee Baby, Giggle, Magic Bean, Nordstrom and other specialty stores nationwide and online at www.nuna.eu and www.wayfair.com and other online retailers from February 2013 through November 2015 for about between $250 and $300. 

Consumers should immediately stop using these recalled high chairs and contact the firm to receive a free new arm bar and instructions on how to replace it.

For more information, Nuna Baby Essentials has a toll-free number at 855-686-2872 from 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. ET Monday through Friday. Or consumers can go online at www.nuna.eu/usa/ and click on “Product Recall” under the “Support” section on the sidebar of the homepage for more information.

Source; http://www.cpsc.gov/en/Recalls/2016/Nuna-Baby-Essentials-Recalls-High-Chairs/

Daily Dose

Toddlers & Tantrums

1.15 to read

I see toddlers for check ups nearly every day and for both the 15 month and 18 month visit, there are many challenges for parents and the pediatrician (and of course the child). Toddlers are not at what I would call an EASY age.

As you know if you have a toddler, they are quite moody (just wait for teenagers) and they can “stop, drop and roll” into a tantrum in the blink of an eye.  So while I was examining an 18 month old this week ( she is one of three adorable girls), she suddenly became infuriated (her mother and I were really clueless as to what triggered this) and she jumped off of her mother’s lap and fell to the floor kicking and screaming. 

Now, for a first time parent this might be alarming behavior, but for a seasoned mother of three it was really no big deal. Appropriately, we all just ignored her as she laid on the floor and screamed (no, the mother was not worried about germs on the floor either) and we continued our conversation about her child’s less than stellar sleep habits.

After a few minutes her daughter calmed down, the older sisters got her a sticker and she left without a fuss. Her mother had already learned, like we all do, that the best way to stop tantrums is by ignoring them and letting your toddler have some time to “express her emotions” with age appropriate (although inappropriate for older children) behavior.  

Several days later, her mother sent me an email with another picture attached of the same child having yet another tantrum after she found her in her diaper with a sharpie pen happily marking all over herself (the photo above). Of course, the minute she took the marker away her daughter fell to the floor again to express her outrage! So funny that her mom thought to document it and send me another picture.

By the way, she also told me that she had taken practical advice and was working on having her daughter cry herself to sleep and it was working well!  Both the tantrums and sleep were improving by just ignoring her behavior. Back to those laws of natural consequences.  

Your Toddler

Noisy Homes May Influence Toddler’s Vocabulary

1:00

Have you ever had a hard time understanding someone speak in a noisy restaurant? Imagine if you were trying to learn a new language. That’s just what toddlers are trying to do, learn a language. According to a new study, toddlers learn new words quicker when their environment has less background noise.

"Modern homes are filled with noisy distractions such as TV, radio and people talking that could affect how children learn words at early ages," said study leader Brianna McMillan.

"Our study suggests that adults should be aware of the amount of background speech in the environment when they're interacting with young children," said McMillan, a doctoral student in psychology at the University of Wisconsin at Madison.

Researchers from the university assessed the ability of 106 children, aged 22 to 30 months, to learn new words. They found they were more successful when their surroundings were quiet than when there was background noise.

However, researchers noted that providing the children with additional language cues helped them overcome the detrimental effects of a noisy location.

"Hearing new words in fluent speech without a lot of background noise before trying to learn what objects the new words corresponded to, may help very young children master new vocabulary," said study co-author Jenny Saffran, a professor of psychology.

Sometimes, you simply can’t avoid a noisy environment- especially if there are other children around. Saffron says there is a way to overcome that.

“… When the environment is noisy, drawing young children's attention to the sounds of the new word may help them compensate," she added.

Story source: Robert Preidt, https://consumer.healthday.com/kids-health-information-23/child-development-news-124/noisy-homes-slow-toddler-s-vocabulary-713013.html

 

 

Your Toddler

Seven Tips For Toddler Discipline

2.15 to read

Toddler-hood is a particularly vexing time for parents because this is the age at which children start to become more independent and discover themselves as individuals. Yet they still have a limited ability to communicate and reason. "They understand that their actions matter -- they can make things happen," says Claire Lerner, LCSW-C, child development specialist and director of parenting resources for the organization Zero to Three. "This leads them to want to make their imprint on the world and assert themselves in a way they didn't when they were a baby. The problem is they have very little self-control and they're not rational thinkers. It's a very challenging combination." So how do you deal with a child who screams every time you try to give him or her a bath, and whose vocabulary seems to consist of just one word -- "no"? Here are a few simple toddler discipline strategies to help make life easier for both you and your child. Toddler Discipline Secret No. 1: Be Consistent Order and routine give young children a safe haven from what they view as an overwhelming and unpredictable world, says Lerner. "When there's some predictability and routine, it makes children feel much more safe and secure, and they tend to be much more behaved and calm because they know what to expect." Try to keep to the same schedule every day. That means having consistent nap times, mealtimes, and bedtimes, as well as times when your toddler is free to just run around and have fun. When you do have to make a change, it helps to warn your child in advance. Telling your child, "Aunt Jean is going to watch you tonight while Mommy and Daddy go out for a little bit" will prepare her for a slightly different routine, and will hopefully prevent a scene at bedtime. Consistency is also important when it comes to discipline. When you say "no hitting" the first time your child smacks another child on the playground, you also need to say "no hitting" the second, third, and fourth times your child does it. Toddler Discipline Secret No. 2: Avoid Stressful Situations By the time children reach the toddler stage, you've spent enough time with them to know their triggers. The most common ones are hunger, sleepiness, and quick changes of venue. With a little advance planning, you can avoid these potential meltdown scenarios and keep things relatively calm. "You have to anticipate, which means you don't go to the grocery store when your child needs a nap," says Lisa Asta, MD, a pediatrician in Walnut Creek, Calif., and associate clinical professor of pediatrics at the University of California, San Francisco. Try to make sure your child is home at naptimes, bedtimes, and mealtimes. If you are out, always keep food on hand in case of a sudden hunger attack. Keep excursions short (that means finding another restaurant if the one you've chosen has an hour-long wait, or doing your grocery shopping at times when the lines are shortest). Finally, plan ahead so you don't have to rush (particularly when you need to get your child to preschool and yourself to work in the mornings). You can ease transitions by involving your child in the process. That can be as simple as setting an egg timer for five minutes, and saying that when it rings it's time to take a bath or get dressed, or giving your child a choice of whether to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt to school. Toddler Discipline Secret No. 3: Think Like a Toddler Toddlers aren't mini-adults. They have trouble understanding many of the things we take for granted, like how to follow directions and behave appropriately. Seeing the scenario from a toddler's perspective can help prevent a tantrum. "You might say, 'I know, Derek, you don't like getting into the car seat ... but it's what we have to do,'" Lerner explains. "So you're not coddling, but you're validating their feelings. You have to set the limit, but you do it in a way that respects the child and you use it as an opportunity to help them learn to cope with life's frustrations and rules and regulations." Giving choices also shows that you respect your toddler and recognize the child's feelings. Asking your child if he or she wants to bring a favorite book in the car, or take along a snack, can make the child feel as though he or she has some control over the situation while you remain in charge, Lerner says. Toddler Discipline Secret No. 4: Practice the Art of Distraction Make your toddler's short attention span work for you. When your child throws the ball against the dining room wall for the 10th time after you've said to stop, it's pretty easy to redirect your child to a more productive activity, like trading the ball for a favorite book or moving the game outside. "Parents need to create an environment that is most conducive to good toddler behavior," advises Rex Forehand, PhD, the Heinz and Rowena Ansbacher Professor of Psychology at the University of Vermont and author of Parenting the Strong-Willed Child. "If they're into something they're not supposed to do, the idea is not to punish them but to get another activity going or pick them up and put them in another room." Toddler Discipline Secret No. 5: Give Your Child a Break Time-outs are one of the foundations of child discipline, but they may not be the best approach for the toddler stage. The negative implication of being sent away can teach kids that they're bad, rather than promote good behavior. If you do give your child a time-out, limit it to just a minute or two at this age. Instead of calling it a time-out, which can be confusing to children under 3, refer to it as something more positive. Lerner suggests creating a "cozy corner," a safe place, free from distractions and stimulation, where your child can just chill out for a few minutes until he or she can get back in control. That time away can help you regroup, as well. Correct bad behaviors, but also take the time to praise good behaviors. "If you don't tell your child when they're doing the right thing, sometimes they'll do the wrong thing just to get attention," Asta says. When you tell your toddler he or she has done something good, there's a good chance your child will want to do it again. Toddler Discipline Secret No. 6: Stay Calm When you're standing in the middle of the mall, looking down at your child who's screaming on the floor, and trying to ignore the stares of the shoppers around you, it's easy for your blood pressure to reach the boiling point. It's hard to stay calm, but losing control will quickly escalate an already stressful situation. Give yourself some time to cool off, advises Forehand. "Otherwise, you're venting your own anger. In the end that's going to make you as a parent feel worse and guilty, and it's not going to do your child any good." "I call it the "Stepford Wife" approach," Lerner says. As your child screams, say, 'I know, I know,' but stay completely calm as you pick him up. Don't show any emotion. Sometimes the best tactic is to ignore the behavior entirely. "You just literally act like they're not doing what they're doing. You ignore the behavior you want to stop," Lerner says. When your child realizes that his screaming fit is not going to get him a second lollipop or your attention, eventually he'll get tired of yelling. Your child may drive you so close to the breaking point that you're tempted to spank him, but most experts warn against the practice. "When we spank, kids learn that physical punishment is acceptable. And so we are modeling exactly what we don't want our kids to do," says Forehand. At the toddler stage, redirection and brief breaks are far more effective discipline tactics, Forehand says. Toddler Discipline Secret No. 7: Know When to Give In Certain things in a toddler's life are nonnegotiable. She has to eat, brush her teeth, and ride in a car seat. She also has to take baths once in a while. Hitting and biting are never OK. But many other issues aren't worth the headache of an argument. Pick your battles. "You have to decide whether it's worth fighting about, and about half the time it's not worth fighting about," Asta says. That means it's OK to let your son wear his superhero costume to the grocery store, or read The Giving Tree 10 times in a row. Once he gets what he wants, you can gradually get him to shift in another direction -- like wearing another outfit or picking out a different book to read. Finally, know that it's OK to feel stressed out by your toddler sometimes. "Realize that none of us as parents is perfect -- we do the best we can. There are going to be days that we're better at this than other days," Forehand says. "But if we parent consistently and have consistent rules, then we're going to see more good days than bad days."

Daily Dose

Toddler Behavior

1.30 to read

Do you have a toddler? If so you are in the throes of some difficult, albeit sometimes funny, yet inappropriate behavior. It happens to every parent...suddenly their precious child turns into Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.  Somewhere around 15-18 months, you will most likely see this change in behavior. Although most books refer to the “terrible twos” I really think it is the “me no wanna” 18-30 month old. 

“Me no wanna” is the phrase we often used around our house, and it was coined when the boys were toddlers. It just seemed like the best line when our sweet toddler would rather have a tantrum than do the simple task that we wanted him to do. Example: please put your toy back in the box. “Me no wanna”, I would prefer to fall to the floor and scream.   

How is it that your typically sweet 20 month old child can be in middle of playing nicely and then suddenly seems possessed as they fling themselves to the floor kicking and screaming?  What is the matter?  Are they having a seizure? Or is it that “something” just didn’t seem right to them and they are angry and frustrated???  How can they change behavior so quickly.?   (hint, foreshadowing for those teen years). 

You never know with a toddler what kind of answer you will get when you say something as easy as “let’s get on your shoes to go outside”. Sometimes they happily run get the shoes, bring them to you, sit down and the shoes go on licitly split.  The next time they get the shoes, throw them across the room, lay on the floor and look at you like “me no wanna”. 

Trust me, you are not a “bad” parent, you are just living through some really challenging parenting. It is exhausting at times, but while this age is typically difficult it is some of your most important parenting. This is really the beginning of behavior modification.  Your brilliant toddler is testing you, this may be the first time you the parents understand why everyone talks about boundaries and consequences. 

Some children also express their “me no wanna” by acting out with hitting, biting and kicking. Again, very inappropriate behavior. Your job is to change that behavior by using time out, or taking away a toy or even putting the child to bed early.. There are so many ways to start letting your toddler know that there are consequences for misbehaving, and that tantrums don’t work. 

I am in throes of “me no wanna” again, only this time it is with a puppy! Seems very similar to me.

Daily Dose

Language Development

1.30 to read

When talking to parents about language development there are two things that need to be considered: expressive and receptive language. 

While many parents worry that their children “need” to have 10-20 words by the time they reach 15 months, I am just as interested in a toddler’s receptive language. In other words, does their 15-18 month old child understand what they are saying to them (when they want to?). 

It is very important for this age child to understand simple statements and to be able to follow a one step direction.  Examples being, “where is your nose?”, “go get me the ball”, “point to the picture of the moon in the book”.  As a parent you are doing this all day long, probably without even realizing how much they are understanding (when they want to). Observing your child develop  receptive language shows you that your child’s brain is working away at developing language and comprehension. 

Some children will have later expressive language than others. There are 1 year olds that have 8-10 words and there are 15 month olds that are just acquiring that many words. But, just like you will someday help teach your child to read, you are teaching your toddler language by talking to them, reading to them and then suddenly your realize that they are saying a few words. You can’t “make” them say bye-bye, or thank-you but you can say these things over and over and know that they may comprehend before they actually talk. Most children have jargon or chatter as well as words and that too is a good sign of language development. 

Language acquisition is fascinating, and there is a wide range of normal.  It is true that boys are often later talkers than girls. I also think 2nd, 3rd, 4th children may also have later expressive language, but earlier receptive language...it seems the older sibling gives them commands that the younger child follows, but the older child also “talks” for the younger sibling. Those first children just can’t stand not to be the boss (birth order, another fascinating topic). 

So, remember just to keep reading to your child, talking to them about everyday life and magically language evolves.  Remember too, receptive language is an important milestone in your child’s development so give them some “things to do” and see what happens....you may be amazed at all of the things they do know how to do and how much they comprehend as well.

Daily Dose

Toddlers & Tantrums

1.15 to read

I see toddlers for check ups nearly every day and for both the 15 month and 18 month visit, there are many challenges for parents and the pediatrician (and of course the child). Toddlers are not at what I would call an EASY age.

As you know if you have a toddler, they are quite moody (just wait for teenagers) and they can “stop, drop and roll” into a tantrum in the blink of an eye.  So while I was examining an 18 month old this week ( she is one of three adorable girls), she suddenly became infuriated (her mother and I were really clueless as to what triggered this) and she jumped off of her mother’s lap and fell to the floor kicking and screaming. 

Now, for a first time parent this might be alarming behavior, but for a seasoned mother of three it was really no big deal. Appropriately, we all just ignored her as she laid on the floor and screamed (no, the mother was not worried about germs on the floor either) and we continued our conversation about her child’s less than stellar sleep habits.

After a few minutes her daughter calmed down, the older sisters got her a sticker and she left without a fuss. Her mother had already learned, like we all do, that the best way to stop tantrums is by ignoring them and letting your toddler have some time to “express her emotions” with age appropriate (although inappropriate for older children) behavior.  

Several days later, her mother sent me an email with another picture attached of the same child having yet another tantrum after she found her in her diaper with a sharpie pen happily marking all over herself (the photo above). Of course, the minute she took the marker away her daughter fell to the floor again to express her outrage! So funny that her mom thought to document it and send me another picture.

By the way, she also told me that she had taken practical advice and was working on having her daughter cry herself to sleep and it was working well!  Both the tantrums and sleep were improving by just ignoring her behavior. Back to those laws of natural consequences.  

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