Twitter Facebook RSS Feed Print
Your Child

Checking Out Your Kid’s Apps

2:30

Apps are today’s equivalent to yesterday’s skates, cabbage patch dolls, transformers, NERF balls and video games.   Every kid wants one and there are plenty to go around.

A recent article on CNN.com looked at the dilemma many parents face when their little one wants a popular app downloaded onto their phone. A couple’s 9-year-old daughter wanted the app, Musical.ly. Her classmates were using it and sharing content and she wanted to be able to join in on the fun. It basically enables you to share your own music videos to popular songs. 

While dad, David G. Allan, didn’t say yes or no right away, he did tell her he would do some research and let her know his and his wife’s decision.

It’s a good thing he decided to check it out.

His online research provided commentary and articles about the app plus an opportunity to sign up and give it a try.

After downloading the app and examining the content, he and his wife chose to veto the request.

In a Facebook post, he laid out his 3 reasons why.

“I found sexual content in user profiles and videos, without trying very hard. There was easy, direct exposure to strangers. Adult strangers. And I found no way to filter out those first two items, even with privacy settings on. The privacy settings seemed to only reduce other risks.”

The app’s terms and conditions says signup requires users to be age 13 and older, but user age is self-reported and something parents can restrict only for app downloads at the device level.

When a website says that a child must be 13 years or older to use an app, that’s just a legal way to protect themselves; it is not necessarily because they want to protect your child.

A 1998 law titled the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act details the responsibilities of developers to protect online privacy and safety of kids under age 13. Website operators reduce their legal culpability by putting that age cutoff in their terms and conditions.

Over breakfast the next morning, Allan told his daughter that she would not be allowed to download the app and the reasons why. “I explained to her that an important part of my job as a parent is to do everything I can to keep her safe. And because she trusts that I've got her back in all things, my permission to use social media brings with it the assumption that it is a safe thing for her to do.”

Turns out that some of his daughter’s friends’ parents read his post and deleted the app from their child’s phone. It wasn’t long before his 9-year-old and her classmates were on to the next app. He checked that one out as well and allowed her to get it.

A good point made in the article is, “We will all have different ideas of what's appropriate, but it's the conversation and deliberation that's important. And the flipside of social media is that it gives us a great forum with which to engage in it.”

It’s not easy being a parent. There are times when you have to say no and stick to it, but giving the no a reason, puts it in context for a child. They may not like it, but at least they no why you’ve made that choice.

Apps are not going away and younger and younger children are finding them and sharing them. It’s imperative that parents not only know what apps their child is using, but that they do the research on these products. It’s one way to help keep your child a little safer when the digital world offers something that is simply not appropriate.

Story source: David G. Allan, http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/10/health/screen-decisions-go-ask-your-dad/index.html

 

Daily Dose

Stop Cyberbullying Now!

1:30 to read

There have been a lot of recent stories about bullying occurring on social media sites. I have such mixed feelings about social media, and ironically I myself am writing a blog for our website and app.  The Kid’s Doctor is  active on Twitter (@TheKidsDoctor) and Facebook (TheKidsDoctor) as well.  So, I realize to stay current, social media is a must and it is usually quite beneficial and is a source of instant information and sharing. Maybe too instant?

But with that being said, why do some people feel they may use it as a “bully pulpit”.   Why do they feel compelled to be mean and even vulgar?  I spend a great deal of time discussing this topic with my adolescent patients and their parents but I am concerned that sometimes even parents are guilty of “cyber bullying”.

How do parents teach their children right from wrong, or how to behave appropriately in society....by modeling behavior themselves. Our children are watching us and looking to their mother and father to “show them the way”.  Leading by example is often difficult but absolutely imperative, and this includes social media and bullying.

For all of the years I have practiced I have seen that in most, maybe not all cases,  having parents who model appropriate behavior is one of the keys to raising healthy, compassionate, resilient and well balanced children.  It sounds simplistic but it works.

Curt Schilling recently wrote an interesting and compelling article discussing this very issue.  Right after he posted a congratulatory tweet announcing his daughter’s college acceptance his daughter received terribly inappropriate hateful and hurtful messages. He was able to “trace” the tweets to accounts and therefore knew exactly who had sent these messages. Unfortunately, there are often not consequences for cyberbullying or inappropriate behavior....at least for now.  Did the messengers get punished? Did their parents even know? I should hope so.

Social media is here to stay, but there has to be a way to teach our children (and adults) that there are consequences for behaving badly especially when the whole world is aware of your behavior.  It is time for the pendulum to swing back to morals, civility,manners....and as my mother would say to me, “Emily Post would not approve”. 

Parenting

Sharing Too Much About Your Kids on Social Media

1:45

In a few days from now, your social media site of preference will be flooded with pictures of young children in cute Halloween costumes out for an evening of trick or treating.  It’s safe to say, online landscapes have replaced the old hard-cover family album. Relatives, friends and even strangers are just a click away from viewing your child’s most significant moments.

While many parents often keep a watchful eye on their kids social media use, they might want to think about how much personal information they are sharing about their family.

"This is all so new. Our parents didn't deal with this," said Dr. Bahareh Keith, an assistant of pediatrics at the University of Florida College of Medicine, in Gainesville.

Before social media, parents might embarrass their kids by showing old photo albums to a few family members and friends.  Now, the things parents disclose online -- the good and not so good -- leave a lasting "digital footprint," Keith explained.

The researchers cite an astonishing statistic in their review: Studies have shown that 92 percent of 2-year-olds in the United States have an online presence, and about one-third make their first appearance on social media within 24 hours of their birth.

Not only do parents share the “Hallmark” moments in their children’s lives, but some parents also share personal information about their child’s struggles with behavioral issues that can end up in the public domain. Social media outlets such as Facebook allow friends of “friends” to view your posts. You may or may not know who these people are. Public information about your child’s personal behavior, Keith points out, can have psychological repercussions for kids.

On a more sinister note, public information about your home life can help thieves and pedophiles link together a profile on your family - such as where your child attends school, when you are at work or on vacation, your child’s most vulnerable tendencies and a host of other things you’d rather strangers not know.

According to Keith, there has been little research on the issue, probably because it's so new. Her team did a review of the medical and legal literature on the subject, to come up with some guidelines for parents.

For now, she offered some advice on how to post wisely:

·      Never share pictures of your child in "any state of undress."

·      Be careful about posts that give your child's precise location.

·      If you are going online for help with your child's behavioral issues, keep any information sharing anonymous.

Be sure to understand the privacy policies of the sites you post on. Simply limiting your Facebook posts to "friends" is not enough, Keith said. If someone else is tagged in a photo, for example, the friends of that person may see it.

Keith says the review is not to scare parents from sharing family photos or bragging about their children’s accomplishments online, but to use caution in what you share and when.

"We're not saying 'don't share,' " she said. "Just share wisely."

That's not only to keep kids safe, but to respect their privacy, according to Keith.

With older kids, she said, always ask if it's OK to post a photo or share a story.

With younger kids, try to think ahead. "Look forward," Keith said. "Ask yourself, at the age of 14, will my child be OK with this? If you're in doubt, don't post it."

It's natural for parents to focus on their kids when they're using social media, said Dr. David Lloyd-Hill, chair of the AAP's Council on Communications and Media.

"If you're a parent," he said, "the most important and exciting things in your life are probably centered on your kids."

But while those posts may be well meaning, Lloyd-Hill agreed that parents should think before they share and take some sensible precautions.

The bigger concern, he said, is children's privacy, and whether the images and information parents choose to share will hurt their child in some way -- now or years down the road.

"Yes, we need to be monitoring our kids' social media posts," Lloyd-Hill said. "But we also need to look at our own."

Keith is scheduled to present her findings at the annual meeting of the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), in San Francisco this Friday. Research presented at meetings is considered preliminary until published in a peer-reviewed journal.

Story source: Amy Norton, https://consumer.healthday.com/health-technology-information-18/misc-computer-health-news-150/what-not-to-post-online-about-your-kids-716055.html

 

Please fill in your e-mail address to be included in our newsletter.
You may opt out at any time.

 

DR SUE'S DAILY DOSE

Count your blessings this Thanksgiving!

Please fill in your e-mail address to be included in our newsletter.
You may opt out at any time.

 

Please fill in your e-mail address to be included in our newsletter.
You may opt out at any time.