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Your Child

Are Overindulgent Parents Raising Narcissistic Kids?

2:00

The authors of a new study say their research demonstrates that narcissism in children is cultivated by parental overvaluation: parents believing their child to be more special and more entitled than others. In contrast, high self-esteem in children is cultivated by parental warmth: parents expressing affection and appreciation toward their child.

"It comes pretty naturally," said senior study author Brad Bushman, a professor of communication and psychology at Ohio State University. "Most parents think their children are special, and deserve better treatment. But when our children receive special treatment, they become narcissistic and come to believe they deserve more and are superior to others."

On the opposite end of the scale, researchers found that children raised in an atmosphere of simple parental warmth were more likely to have an appropriate level of self-esteem, but not narcissism.

"It's good to be a warm parent and a loving parent, but it's not OK to treat your children as if they are better than others," Bushman concluded. "Everyone we meet is better than us at something, and the fact that we're all human beings makes us equally valuable."

In the study, researchers evaluated 565 children aged 7 to 11 from middle-class neighborhoods in the Netherlands, along with their parents.

Parents and children answered a series of questions designed to assess a child's narcissism and self-esteem, as well as a parent's warmth and overvaluation of their child. Researchers administered the questionnaires four times over a period of 18 months.

The research team found that parents who overvalued their children -- reflected in statements such as "my child is more special than other children" -- did end up with children who were overly convinced of their own importance.

"I honestly believe one of the most dangerous beliefs that a person can have is that they are [more] superior than others," Bushman said. "When people think they are superior to others, they behave very badly. It's much better to treat everybody like we are all part of the human family, and are all worthy of respect."

The study did not prove that parents who idolize their children cause their child to be narcissistic; it only showed a link between the two.

Bushman believes that children should earn their rewards and not simply be given them.

"In America, we have it all backward. We assume if we boost our child's self-esteem, they'll behave well. We assume self-esteem is the panacea for every ill," he said. "Rather than boost self-esteem and hope our kids act well, we should wait for good behavior and then give them a pat on the back for that."

James Garbarino, senior faculty fellow at the Center for the Human Rights of Children at Loyola University Chicago, warned that parents who treat their children as though they walk on water are setting them up to sink like stones later in life.

"It's a good investment to temper narcissism, because otherwise you are setting your kids up for a big fall later in life," Garbarino said. "Eventually, life shows you that you're not that special. You've heard the saying, 'Time heals all wounds?' In this case, 'Time wounds all heels.' "

What is narcissism? Narcissism is an obsession with one’s self and an exaggerated sense of entitlement. A narcissistic personality seeks attention constantly and considers themselves better than others. When they feel humiliated, they can lash out aggressively or even violently. They set unrealistic goals and often take advantage of others to achieve those goals.

An appropriate amount of self-esteem comes and goes in cycles. It’s a child’s sense of worth and belonging. Family, friends, failure, skills and accomplishments play a large role in the building and re-building of self-esteem. A child is better able to achieve a healthy dose of self-esteem when parents offer realistic support and respect in their child’s struggles. Self-esteem can also come from helping others.

As parents, most of us believe that our children are indeed special – that’s a normal parental outlook. This study however, looks at the type of parent that believes his or her child is not only special (in their eyes) but should also be seated far above all others. The kind of parenting that teaches a child that everything they desire should be given to them even at the risk of hurting others. 

The study was published in the March online edition of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

 Sources: Dennis Thompson, http://www.webmd.com/parenting/news/20150309/overindulgent-parents-may-breed-narcissistic-children

http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/narcissistic-personality-disorder

Your Teen

New Guidelines for Treating Acne

2.30 to read

I recently ran into a friend I hadn’t seen in about 5 years. We were catching up on each other’s lives when her teenage son joined us. The last time I saw “John” he was about 11 years old and full of pre-teen energy and curiosity. This time however, he was quiet and kept his head down when he said hello. When he finally looked up, I saw why he had been avoiding full-face eye contact. “John” had a pretty severe case of acne. Not a few pimples, but entire areas on his face that were red and dotted with large pustules and cysts.  It looked painful.

Typically, acne isn’t a serious medical condition. It comes and goes throughout life and is more of an annoyance than anything else. For some though, acne can cause emotional distress and lead to scarring of the skin and psyche.

Fortunately, there are many over-the-counter (OTC) medications that when combined with a consistent face cleaning routine, keep breakouts to a minimum.

But for some people, teens in particular, acne can progress to the point where OTC medications don’t control the problem. Pediatricians are often called upon to help teens come up with a plan of treatment. 

There is a range of medications that can clear up even severe cases of acne, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP). Writing in the May issue of its journal Pediatrics, the group throws its support behind new guidelines from the American Acne and Rosacea Society that detail how to treat acne in children and teens of all ages.

That "all ages" part is important because acne is becoming more and more common in pre-teens, too, said Dr. Lawrence Eichenfield, the lead author of the AAP report. One study of 9- and 10-year-old girls found that more than three-quarters had pimples.

A possible reason for why kids are experiencing breakouts at a younger age is that, on an average, boys and girls are starting puberty earlier than in past generations says Eichenfield.

According to the AAP, milder cases of acne can be managed with OTC soaps, washes, lotions or gels containing benzoyl peroxide.  Another common ingredient used to battle acne is salicylic acid. Department stores now have sections of aisles filled with these types of products making them easy to find.

But what if the OTC medications do not help clear up your teen’s acne? The AAP recommends going to the next step of trying a topical retinoid. Retin-A, Avita and Differin are the most commonly prescribed treatments. They are vitamin A derivatives and work by speeding up skin cell turnover, which helps unclog pores.

The main side effects of all the topical treatments are skin irritation and dryness, the AAP said.

If the acne is considered moderate to severe and other treatments have failed to work, the next step may be oral antibiotics. When pores become clogged with oil and skin cells, bacteria can grow in the pore and cause inflammation. Antibiotics help by killing bacteria and soothing inflammation.

But, Eichenfield said, "it's important to use antibiotics appropriately."

Antibiotics can have their own set of problems and should be used with caution. The overuse of antibiotics has made some acne causing bacteria more resistant. Other side effects can be stomach upset, dizziness and, in girls - yeast infections.

When all else fails and acne is severe, the prescription drug isotretinoin may be an option. Brand names include Roaccutane (formerly known as Accutane) and Claravis.

The drug is very effective, but it can cause birth defects, so girls and women have to use birth control and get regular pregnancy tests if they go on the medication. Isotretinoin also has been linked to inflammatory bowel disease, depression and suicidal thoughts in some users, although it's not clear the drug is to blame, the AAP said. (Severe acne itself can cause depression and suicidal thoughts, for example.) Other side effects can include sun-sensitivity, dry eyes, mouth, lips nose and skin as well as itching, nosebleeds and muscle aches.

Why do we get acne?

Acne occurs when hair follicles become plugged with oil secretions, dead skin cells and sometimes bacteria. The most common areas on the body where acne erupts are the face, neck, chest, back and shoulders. It takes time for acne lesions to heal and quite often another breakout will appear as one is finally clearing up.

Hormones and certain medications can play a role in triggering acne. Whether diet is a factor is still up for debate. "The idea that food plays a role became relegated to myth," Eichenfield said. But recently, he added, some researchers have been revisiting the issue. There is some evidence that a sugary diet may promote acne, for example. But for now, it's not clear whether any diet changes will actually help keep kids' skin clear, Eichenfield said.

Stress may not cause acne but it can aggravate it.

Keeping skin pores open and unclogged is the key ingredient to preventing acne. While it may seems that scrubbing your face, using astringents and drying masks would help do that, they aren’t generally recommended. Too much washing and scrubbing can irritate the skin.

It's best to wash your face gently twice a day, with a soap-free pH-balanced cleanser, the AAP said. Facial toners -- which commonly come in pre-packaged acne regimens -- can help clear away oil. But the group suggested going easy on toners, since they can irritate the skin.

One myth that seems to never go away is that tanning and more time in the sun is good for acne. A sunburned face may look better to you because your whole face is red instead of just certain areas. Too much sun can actually make acne worse for some people. It also ages your skin and can cause skin cancer. Certain medications (including some for acne treatment) can make your skin very sensitive to the sun’s rays. Always use a “face-friendly” sunscreen that doesn’t clog the pores.

I really felt bad for my friend’s son when I saw how miserable he was. To me he’s still handsome and has a bright and interesting future ahead of him. I’m not so sure that he thinks that, at least not until his acne is under control.

The bottom line, Eichenfield says, is that many treatment options are available. "There's no reason that children have to live with acne that is severe and troubling to them.”

Sources: Amy Norton, http://www.webmd.com/skin-problems-and-treatments/acne/news/20130506/pediatricians-endorse-new-acne-treatment-guidelines

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/acne/DS00169

 

Your Teen

Teens Suffering from FOMA (Fear of Missing Out)

2:00

At one time or another, we’ve probably all experienced the feeling that our friends are out having fun, doing interesting things or just simply meeting up, and for some reason, we didn’t know. It’s called the fear of missing out or FOMA. Teenagers are particularly susceptible to FOMA in today’s super charged social media network, according to a new study.

Experts from the Australian Psychological Society (APS) found FOMO elevates anxiety levels of teenagers and may contribute to depression.

It’s not only teens whose stress levels are increasing due to heavy social media use, but adults are also experiencing more anxiety.

The findings, released in the 2015 National Stress and Wellbeing in Australia Survey, measured the levels of stress that Aussies experience and how the use of social media affects their behavior and wellbeing.

Dr. Mubarak Rahamathulla, a senior social work lecturer at Flinders University who led the report, said that levels of anxiety, stress and depression of Aussies who were involved in the study have increased since the beginning of their survey.

The survey included questions on Aussies' experience on social media, as well as a separate survey containing questions about FOMO for teenagers who were aged 13 to 17 years old. More than half of all the teenagers involved in the survey admit that they use social media 15 minutes before bed every night.

Four in ten of the teens said they use social media when they are in the company of others and one in four said they check in on social media while eating breakfast and lunch every day.

The fear of missing out seems to affect teens more that are heavy social media users. About 50 percent of the respondents said they felt the fear of missing out on their friends' inside jokes and events, as well as the chance to show they're having fun on social media.

All this checking in to see what their friends are up to seems to leave some teens feeling like they are living less rewarding lives. For instance, a user may be watching TV at home and decides to casually check and scroll through Facebook. Only, the user sees that his friends have posted photos of them out clubbing and he suddenly feels like he's missing out on something important.

“There is a very strong positive correlation between the hours spent on digital technology and higher stress and depression," said Rahamathulla.

He added that teens today are somehow getting confused between the online world and the real world.

APS member and psychologist Adam Ferrier said that people have always felt the fear of missing out on parties and activities even before the Internet, but social media indeed elevated the FOMO intensely.

Some teens are catching on that too much social media isn’t good for one’s sense of wellbeing. They’ve made the decision to cut back and spend more time with family, doing something they like to do or enjoying a little quiet time alone. But many teens are caught up in the habit of checking on what others are doing and comparing their life to their friends.   

Experts agree that parents need to be aware of how much time their child is spending on social media and watch for symptoms of depression or anxiety. Redirecting their attention or requiring that electronics be turned off after a certain hour at night can help them remember that the real world is a good place to visit and hang out for awhile.

Source: Alyssa Navarro, http://www.techtimes.com/articles/104417/20151109/fomo-leads-to-depression-and-anxiety-in-teen-social-media-users.htm

 

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Know the warning signs that your teen is depressed.

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