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Parenting

Spring-Cleaning Kid’s Stuff!

2:00

Traditionally, spring is when we review what is needed and what needs to go. Clutter that has been growing throughout the years is viewed with fresh eyes once the season of renewal begins.

Along with typical household items, all the extraneous, broken and outgrown kid’s stuff can begin to take a toll. It takes up a lot of space and requires constant picking up. Clothes are beginning to look like a small mountain made of material, buttons and zippers.

Organization and prioritizing are the keys to making the job of spring-cleaning work.

When you’re ready to tackle the kid’s stuff- make them a part of the process. From arts and crafts to toys and clothing – get their input and give them choices. You, however, make the final decision on what stays or goes.

Here are a list of items to start with and how kids can have input:

1. Artwork. Kids love to create things, but not everything is a masterpiece. Encourage your child to pick out a few drawings, paintings or pottery works that are their favorites. Consider framing those pieces and putting them up in their rooms. For the other works of art that you like or they are having trouble letting go- take photos and store them on your computer, so you have a record of their creations! If your child is old enough, ask them to be the photographer.

2. Clothing. Sometimes getting rid of clothing is harder (for sentimental reasons) on the parents than the kids. I admit to being guilty of this. I still have several pieces of clothing from when my adult daughter was a toddler or baby. They are stored in a chest of memories. For all the rest, sort clothing that is likely to be passed on to either family members or friends, and ones that are ready for donation. Torn and stained clothing needs to be tossed out. Family homeless shelters always need good, clean children’s clothes.

3. Collections. Many kids are collectors, everything from bugs to superhero gadgets to valuable sports cards. Whatever your child chooses to collect is a symbol of their unique personality and interests. Managing collections provide early lessons on personal responsibility and organizing. Take an interest in what your child is collecting and find a way to honor the collection while respecting the space available to store it. It’s enriching for children to learn about limits and become comfortable making decisions to live within them. It’s also a time to learn about boundaries for collecting stuff. Many a hoarder began with a specific collection and moved on to collecting everything – unable to let go of anything. Have your child pick one collection to focus on and explain what they like about it.

4. Stuffed animals. Because they are so darn cute, stuffed animals seem to multiply like rabbits (particularly stuffed rabbits!) Culling these furry creatures can be difficult for parents and kids. Lots of children receive many more stuffed animals than they can play with or use. Overtime, they outgrow the attraction they once felt towards certain ones. Give your child a number that they can keep and let them make the decision of what stays and goes. Again, this is an area where other children can benefit from and enjoy the gifts donated by your child.

5. Arts and Crafts. If you have a child, then you’ve also got crayons, coloring books, paper, dried up markers and pens that don’t work. Grab a doodle pad and bring all the supplies to a table. Have fun sorting with your kids while making quick decisions about what’s worth keeping and what’s not. If you haven’t got one, consider creating a travel pack of supplies for use in transit. Extras in great shape can be donated. Use for birthday party decorations and activities.

6. Sports equipment. This is an area a lot of parents don’t think too much about but these things can fill a closet or garage in a few short years. Equipment that will be used next year should be cleaned and stored in a bin. Some sports items in good condition can be sold, put on consignment, passed on or donated to leagues.

7. Toys. Ah yes, toys… the biggest space eater of all. Kids these days have a tremendous amount of toy options. Between marketing, fads, peers and commercials there is an endless push for the latest, greatest new toy. How many of these once “gotta-haves” are now just filling up space and providing objects to trip over? Most of the same rules from above apply here. If it’s broken- it’s gone. If it’s not played with any longer- it’s gone. If it’s become a pet chew-toy- it’s gone. Organization is particularly important for toy collections. Bins can provide a good storage option if they used, but they can also become trash cans where all toys go even if they are just pieces. Its time clean them out.

Have your child pick out their favorite toys and decide which ones he or she would like to donate or throw out.

Sort and assign a bin by type. Good toys that your child has simply outgrown can be gifted to nieces and nephews and friends of your child. Intact toys that can still be played with can be donated. Broken toys should be trashed. For certain types of materials, you might want to check on finding a recycling bin.

During this cleaning expedition, you may need to gently point out a toy’s condition to your little one, “I know that play oven was one of your favorite toys, but it doesn’t stand anymore and the front door is missing. Maybe it’s time to let it go.”

And then there’s always Ebay, might as well make a little back on the thousands you’ve spent, especially on video games!

Spring-cleaning is a good time to re-evaluate what needs to stay and what needs to go. I think we’re all aware that it’s time-consuming, but clearing out the clutter not only gives you more space and organization, but also feels great when it’s done!

Story source: Clare Kumar, http://www.todaysparent.com/family/activities/spring-cleaning-with-kids/

 

Parenting

Your Child: Multitasking and Homework

2:00

Does your child multitask with media while doing his or her homework? If so, they’re not alone and most likely they are spending a lot more time trying to finish an assignment.

What might at first glance seem harmless, doing homework or studying while watching TV, texting or checking social media can actually impair learning the material as well as lower test scores. Research has shown that it's one of the worst study habits a student can develop.

Why is that?  Our brains are wired to focus on one activity at a time. It’s how we’ve survived over the centuries.

Doing two things at once actually comprises the brain, shifting its processing from one neural network to another. Each shift comes with a cost of consuming time, mental effort, and brain fuel. Microseconds are wasted as the brain turns off the active network and turns on the next. This not only costs time (which adds up) but also depletes the brain’s critical resources of glucose and oxygen. The result – less gets done and less is remembered. While the brain is switching gears – trying to focus on the next thing required- it’s retaining less and less.

Oftentimes, this lack of retention shows up as poorer grades, less intercommunication skills and generally being more distracted.

In a study of 8-18 year old students done by the Kaiser Family Foundation, nearly one third of the students surveyed confessed that when they were doing homework, they were also watching TV, texting, or listening to music. Victoria Rideout, the lead author of the study, warns parents about the dangers of media multitasking. This concern is distinct from worrying about how much kids are online or how much kids are media multitasking overall. “It’s multitasking while learning that has the biggest potential downside,” she says.

Dr. David Meyer, a psychology professor at the University of Michigan observed that “under most conditions, the brain simply cannot do two complex tasks at the same time. Listening to a lecture while texting, or doing homework and being on Facebook—each of these tasks is very demanding, and each of them uses the same area of the brain, the prefrontal cortex." Most students incorrectly believe that they can perform two challenging tasks at the same time, according to Meyer. They may like to do it, they may even be addicted to it, but there’s no getting around the fact that it’s far better to focus on one task from start to finish.”

Multitasking takes up a lot more time than focusing on one activity. Finishing homework can last much later into the evening causing kids to get less sleep than they need. 

Parents of students have to take an active role in their children’s study habits. During homework time, your child’s phone and the TV need to be turned off.  You may even have to put the phone in a different location in the house until homework is completed. A quick lesson refresher with your child after homework is finished can help you see how much your child is retaining and whether all the assignments have been completed.

The Internet can be a helpful tool when researching certain school topics; the trick is to stay on point without falling into the trap of checking out other tempting sites such as social media. Once on the computer, it takes a lot of self-control to stay focused on a singular subject. You may need to help your child stay the course during this time.

Be sure and praise your child for their accomplishments instead of making homework a battleground. The more they are able to develop good study habits, the less time it will take to complete their assignments and the sooner they’ll be able to check back in with their friends and find out what’s been going on.

Story sources: Michael Howard, http://www.beyondbooksmart.com/executive-functioning-strategies-blog/distracted-by-technology-focusing-attention-on-homework

Judy Willis M.D., M.Ed, https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/radical-teaching/201611/the-high-costs-multitasking-you-and-your-kids

 

Your Toddler

Seven Tips For Toddler Discipline

2.15 to read

Toddler-hood is a particularly vexing time for parents because this is the age at which children start to become more independent and discover themselves as individuals. Yet they still have a limited ability to communicate and reason. "They understand that their actions matter -- they can make things happen," says Claire Lerner, LCSW-C, child development specialist and director of parenting resources for the organization Zero to Three. "This leads them to want to make their imprint on the world and assert themselves in a way they didn't when they were a baby. The problem is they have very little self-control and they're not rational thinkers. It's a very challenging combination." So how do you deal with a child who screams every time you try to give him or her a bath, and whose vocabulary seems to consist of just one word -- "no"? Here are a few simple toddler discipline strategies to help make life easier for both you and your child. Toddler Discipline Secret No. 1: Be Consistent Order and routine give young children a safe haven from what they view as an overwhelming and unpredictable world, says Lerner. "When there's some predictability and routine, it makes children feel much more safe and secure, and they tend to be much more behaved and calm because they know what to expect." Try to keep to the same schedule every day. That means having consistent nap times, mealtimes, and bedtimes, as well as times when your toddler is free to just run around and have fun. When you do have to make a change, it helps to warn your child in advance. Telling your child, "Aunt Jean is going to watch you tonight while Mommy and Daddy go out for a little bit" will prepare her for a slightly different routine, and will hopefully prevent a scene at bedtime. Consistency is also important when it comes to discipline. When you say "no hitting" the first time your child smacks another child on the playground, you also need to say "no hitting" the second, third, and fourth times your child does it. Toddler Discipline Secret No. 2: Avoid Stressful Situations By the time children reach the toddler stage, you've spent enough time with them to know their triggers. The most common ones are hunger, sleepiness, and quick changes of venue. With a little advance planning, you can avoid these potential meltdown scenarios and keep things relatively calm. "You have to anticipate, which means you don't go to the grocery store when your child needs a nap," says Lisa Asta, MD, a pediatrician in Walnut Creek, Calif., and associate clinical professor of pediatrics at the University of California, San Francisco. Try to make sure your child is home at naptimes, bedtimes, and mealtimes. If you are out, always keep food on hand in case of a sudden hunger attack. Keep excursions short (that means finding another restaurant if the one you've chosen has an hour-long wait, or doing your grocery shopping at times when the lines are shortest). Finally, plan ahead so you don't have to rush (particularly when you need to get your child to preschool and yourself to work in the mornings). You can ease transitions by involving your child in the process. That can be as simple as setting an egg timer for five minutes, and saying that when it rings it's time to take a bath or get dressed, or giving your child a choice of whether to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt to school. Toddler Discipline Secret No. 3: Think Like a Toddler Toddlers aren't mini-adults. They have trouble understanding many of the things we take for granted, like how to follow directions and behave appropriately. Seeing the scenario from a toddler's perspective can help prevent a tantrum. "You might say, 'I know, Derek, you don't like getting into the car seat ... but it's what we have to do,'" Lerner explains. "So you're not coddling, but you're validating their feelings. You have to set the limit, but you do it in a way that respects the child and you use it as an opportunity to help them learn to cope with life's frustrations and rules and regulations." Giving choices also shows that you respect your toddler and recognize the child's feelings. Asking your child if he or she wants to bring a favorite book in the car, or take along a snack, can make the child feel as though he or she has some control over the situation while you remain in charge, Lerner says. Toddler Discipline Secret No. 4: Practice the Art of Distraction Make your toddler's short attention span work for you. When your child throws the ball against the dining room wall for the 10th time after you've said to stop, it's pretty easy to redirect your child to a more productive activity, like trading the ball for a favorite book or moving the game outside. "Parents need to create an environment that is most conducive to good toddler behavior," advises Rex Forehand, PhD, the Heinz and Rowena Ansbacher Professor of Psychology at the University of Vermont and author of Parenting the Strong-Willed Child. "If they're into something they're not supposed to do, the idea is not to punish them but to get another activity going or pick them up and put them in another room." Toddler Discipline Secret No. 5: Give Your Child a Break Time-outs are one of the foundations of child discipline, but they may not be the best approach for the toddler stage. The negative implication of being sent away can teach kids that they're bad, rather than promote good behavior. If you do give your child a time-out, limit it to just a minute or two at this age. Instead of calling it a time-out, which can be confusing to children under 3, refer to it as something more positive. Lerner suggests creating a "cozy corner," a safe place, free from distractions and stimulation, where your child can just chill out for a few minutes until he or she can get back in control. That time away can help you regroup, as well. Correct bad behaviors, but also take the time to praise good behaviors. "If you don't tell your child when they're doing the right thing, sometimes they'll do the wrong thing just to get attention," Asta says. When you tell your toddler he or she has done something good, there's a good chance your child will want to do it again. Toddler Discipline Secret No. 6: Stay Calm When you're standing in the middle of the mall, looking down at your child who's screaming on the floor, and trying to ignore the stares of the shoppers around you, it's easy for your blood pressure to reach the boiling point. It's hard to stay calm, but losing control will quickly escalate an already stressful situation. Give yourself some time to cool off, advises Forehand. "Otherwise, you're venting your own anger. In the end that's going to make you as a parent feel worse and guilty, and it's not going to do your child any good." "I call it the "Stepford Wife" approach," Lerner says. As your child screams, say, 'I know, I know,' but stay completely calm as you pick him up. Don't show any emotion. Sometimes the best tactic is to ignore the behavior entirely. "You just literally act like they're not doing what they're doing. You ignore the behavior you want to stop," Lerner says. When your child realizes that his screaming fit is not going to get him a second lollipop or your attention, eventually he'll get tired of yelling. Your child may drive you so close to the breaking point that you're tempted to spank him, but most experts warn against the practice. "When we spank, kids learn that physical punishment is acceptable. And so we are modeling exactly what we don't want our kids to do," says Forehand. At the toddler stage, redirection and brief breaks are far more effective discipline tactics, Forehand says. Toddler Discipline Secret No. 7: Know When to Give In Certain things in a toddler's life are nonnegotiable. She has to eat, brush her teeth, and ride in a car seat. She also has to take baths once in a while. Hitting and biting are never OK. But many other issues aren't worth the headache of an argument. Pick your battles. "You have to decide whether it's worth fighting about, and about half the time it's not worth fighting about," Asta says. That means it's OK to let your son wear his superhero costume to the grocery store, or read The Giving Tree 10 times in a row. Once he gets what he wants, you can gradually get him to shift in another direction -- like wearing another outfit or picking out a different book to read. Finally, know that it's OK to feel stressed out by your toddler sometimes. "Realize that none of us as parents is perfect -- we do the best we can. There are going to be days that we're better at this than other days," Forehand says. "But if we parent consistently and have consistent rules, then we're going to see more good days than bad days."

Your Teen

Fewer Teens Having Sex, More Using Contraception

2:00

With the abundance of sexualized media directed at teens today, you might get the impression that they are constantly on the prowl to “hook up.” That’s not the case according to a new government study.

"The myth is that every kid in high school is having sex, and it's not true," noted Dr. Cora Breuner, a professor of pediatrics at Seattle Children's Hospital, who reviewed the findings. "It's less than half, and it's been less than half for more than 10 years," she said.

Sexual intercourse among teens has declined again after rates stabilized between 2002-2010, according to the National Center for Health Statistics report on teen sexual activity and contraceptive use released recently by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

While the numbers aren’t exactly low enough to ease many parents’ minds, they are better than in previous years.

The study found that 42 percent of girls and 44 percent of boys - aged 15 to 19 - reported having sex at least once. That’s a huge decline from the peak of 1988 when 57 percent of teens between the ages of 15 and 19 reported having had sex.

And Breuner said that finding is nothing new. Going back to 2002, fewer than half of older teens told researchers that they are sexually active, federal data show.

Researchers also found that a higher percentage of teens having sex are involved in a relationship that is ongoing.

Three out of four girls participating in the study, said they were "going steady" with their first sexual partner, and a little more than half of the boys said the same. By comparison, only 2 percent of girls and 7 percent of boys said they lost their virginity to someone they just met.

"There's this myth that kids hook up quite a bit and have sex with someone they literally just met," Breuner said. "This dispels that myth, that our teenagers are having sex with people they don't know."

The statistics come from in-person interviews conducted with more than 4,000 teenagers across the United States between 2011 and 2015. Participation was voluntary and required parental permission, but responses were anonymous.

Today’s teens are more aware of and better educated about the dangers of sexually transmitted diseases such HIV and AIDS. Back in 1988, 51 percent of girls and 60 percent of boys between 15 and 19 said they were sexually active, but those numbers dropped to today's levels after word spread of a sexually transmitted disease that could kill, Breuner said.

Teens are also more concerned about the long-term consequences of pregnancy. Nine out of ten participants in the study said they use some form of birth control. Contraception is widely available now; particularly condoms and teens have better access to all forms of birth control than in decades before.  

At the same time, parents have become more at ease with talking about sex and making sure their teens engage in smart sex, Breuner added.

"Parents honestly to their credit were much more willing to talk about this with their teenagers and were more proactive in making sure they had access to contraceptives," she said.

The study was published in the June edition of the CDC’s National Health Statistics Report.

Story sources: Dennis Thompson, http://www.upi.com/Health_News/2017/06/22/Study-Most-US-teenagers-arent-having-sex/4041498137424/

Shamard Charles, M.D., http://www.nbcnews.com/health/kids-health/waiting-right-one-teens-having-sex-later-cdc-finds-n775236

 

 

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Teens and Alcohol

Teens & Alcohol: A Deadly Mix

Daily Dose

Codeine & Children

1:30 to read

I order to keep us all safe, the FDA is constantly monitoring drugs and their side effects.  For many years codeine was prescribed for children for pain relief as well as to suppress coughs.  Over the last few years there has been more and more discussion about limiting the use of narcotics in children, but I continue to see some children who come from seeing other physicians and have received a prescription that contains codeine.

 

The FDA just issued new warnings against using prescription codeine in children and adolescents. The FDA reviewed adverse event reports from the past 50 years and found reports of severe breathing problems and 24 deaths linked to codeine in children and adolescents. Genetic variation in codeine metabolism may lead to excessive morphine levels in some children.

 

The FDA also performed a literature review which noted excessive sleepiness and breathing problems, including one death, in breast-fed infants whose mothers used codeine.

 

Due to these findings the FDA is now recommending that “codeine should not be used for pain or cough in children under 12 years of age”. They have also issued a warning that codeine should not be used in adolescents aged 12-18 “who are obese or have conditions associated with breathing problems, such as obstructive sleep apnea or severe lung disease”. In retrospect, codeine was prescribed to more than 800,000 children younger than11 years in 2011. Amazingly, codeine is currently available in over-the-counter cough medicines in 28 states.  

 

Lastly, the FDA “strengthened the warning” regarding codeine and breast feeding. They now recommend that breast- feeding women do not use codeine…which may change the post delivery pain protocol. Nonsteroidal anti-inflammatories (Ibuprofen) and acetaminophen (Tylenol) are preferred and are effective for mild to moderate postpartum pain. As a pediatrician it is important that I discuss this with new breast-feeding mothers as well. 

Your Baby

Teething May Make Your Baby Fussy, But Not Sick

2:00

Parents sometimes have trouble distinguishing between whether their cranky baby is actually ill or is just getting his or her first teeth. Because a baby’s gums may be tender and swollen as their teeth come in, a slight rise in temperature can occur.  Other changes may happen as well such as fussiness and increased drooling. All- in –all, babies can be pretty miserable till those first teeth break through.

That said, teething does not cause a full-fledged fever above 100.4 degrees Fahrenheit or any other signs of illness according to a new review led by Dr. Michele Bolan, of the Federal University of Santa Catarina, Brazil.

Certain symptoms can be confusing for parents says Dr. Minu George, interim chief of general pediatrics at Cohen Children's Medical Center, in New Hyde Park, N.Y.

"I get questions about this on a daily basis," said George, who was not involved in the study.

When a baby’s temperature reaches 100.4 degrees F or higher, it becomes an actual fever, not just a slight increase in temperature.

"Fevers are not a bad thing," she pointed out. "They're part of the body's response to infection." But, George added, parents should be aware that a fever is likely related to an illness.

Of course, new parents are going to be somewhat edgy when it comes to caring for their infant. It’s a new world of responsibility that can seem overwhelming at times. 

Pediatricians and family doctors regularly answer questions about this topic with an explanation of how a typical teething experience presents.

Over the ages, other symptoms have been linked to teething that should never apply. They include sores or blisters around the mouth, appetite loss and diarrhea that does not go away quickly. Any of these symptoms warrant a call to your pediatrician.

Babies differ in age as to when their teeth begin to come in.  Typically, the fist tooth begins to erupt around 6 months of age. It can also be as early as 3 months and as late as 1 year of age. There really isn’t a set age for teething to begin, just an average.

Baby’s teeth usually erupt through the gums in a certain order:

·      The two bottom front teeth (central incisors)

·      The four upper front teeth (central and lateral incisors)

·      The two lower lateral incisors

·      The first molars

·      The four canines (located on either side next to the upper and lower lateral incisors)

·      The remaining molars on either side of the existing line of teeth

By age 3, most children have all 20 of their primary teeth.

As for helping babies get through the misery of teething, George advised against medication, including topical gels and products that are labeled "natural" or "homeopathic."

Instead, she said, babies can find relief by chewing on a cooled teething ring or wet washcloth, or eating cool foods.

The analysis was published in the February online edition of the journal Pediatrics.

Sources: Amy Norton, http://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/news/20160218/teething-makes-babies-cranky-but-not-sick-review

http://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/tc/teething-topic-overview

Your Baby

Formula-Fed Babies: How Much and How Often?

2:00

There are many reasons a mother may choose to use formula instead of breast milk when feeding her newborn. There are also times when mothers decide to switch from nursing to formula, as their baby gets a little older.  Whether you’re breastfeeding or giving formula, it’s generally recommended that babies be fed when they seem hungry.

What kind of schedule and how much formula do formula-fed babies need? It all depends on the baby. While each infant’s appetite and needs may be a little different – there are general rules of thumb that can be helpful for moms to know.

According to Healthychildren.org, after the first few days, your formula-fed newborn will take from 2 to 3 ounces (60–90 ml) of formula per feeding and will eat every three to four hours on average during his or her first few weeks.

Occasionally, you may have a sleeper who seems to like visiting dreamland longer than most babies. If during the first month your baby sleeps longer than four or five hours, wake him or her up and offer a bottle.

By the end of his or her first month, they’ll usually be up to at least 4 ounces (120 ml) per feeding, with a fairly predictable schedule of feedings about every four hours.

By six months, your baby will typically consume 6 to 8 ounces (180–240 ml) at each of four or five feedings in twenty-four hours.

Since babies can’t communicate with words, parents have to learn how to read the signs and signals baby uses to express wants.

How do you know your baby is hungry? Here are signs baby may be ready to eat:

•       Moving their heads from side to side

•       Opening their mouths

•       Sticking out their tongues

•       Placing their hands, fingers, and fists to their mouths

•       Puckering their lips as if to suck

•       Nuzzling against their mothers' breasts

•       Showing the rooting reflex (when a baby moves its mouth in the direction of something that's stroking or touching its cheek)

•       Crying

The crying signal can be confusing for parents. It doesn’t always mean the same thing. Crying is also a last resort when baby is hungry. Your baby should be fed before he or she gets so hungry that they get upset and cry. That’s why guidelines are helpful when starting out.

Most babies are satisfied with 3 to 4 ounces (90–120 ml) per feeding during the first month and increase that amount by 1 ounce (30 ml) per month until they reach a maximum of about 7 to 8 ounces (210–240 ml). If your baby consistently seems to want more or less than this, discuss it with your pediatrician. Your baby should drink no more than 32 ounces (960 ml) of formula in 24 hours. Some babies have higher needs for sucking and may just want to suck on a pacifier after feeding.

Eventually, baby will develop a time schedule of his or her own. As you become more familiar with your baby’s signals and sleep patterns, you’ll be able to design a feeding schedule tailored to your infant’s needs.

Between two and four months of age (or when the baby weighs more than 12 pounds [5.4 kg]), most formula-fed babies no longer need a middle-of-the night feeding, because they’re consuming more during the day and their sleeping patterns have become more regular (although this varies considerably from baby to baby). Their stomach capacity has increased, too, which means they may go longer between daytime feedings—occasionally up to four or five hours at a time. If your baby still seems to feed very frequently or consume larger amounts, try distracting him with play or with a pacifier. Sometimes patterns of obesity begin during infancy, so it is important not to overfeed your baby.

The most important thing to remember is that there is no “one schedule and formula amount fits all” when it comes to babies and their needs.

No one can tell you exactly how often or how much your baby boy or girl needs to be fed, but good communication with your pediatrician and learning how to read your baby’s body language will go a long way in keeping baby’s feedings on track.

Story sources: https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/feeding-nutrition/Pages/Amount-and-Schedule-of-Formula-Feedings.aspx

http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/formulafeed-often.html

 

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