So, what if you were given a second chance as a mom? I know this is supposed to be a short blog, but I may need several pages to get this all out.
As a mom, I know I have made many mistakes over the years while raising our three sons. They are adults now, but will always be “my baby boys”.
If I could re-play anything, I would advise moms to enjoy and embrace every stage of parenting as it all goes by too quickly. I always remember looking at other families and thinking, “when will I get to that stage?” as it always looked like the next milestone would be easier or more rewarding or more anything. But in reality, every single stage of parenting has its ups and downs and you can only realize that in retrospect. I was guilty of looking ahead too much rather than enjoying whatever present situation we were in. The old adage of “live in the moment” is never so true as while you are a parent. I say enjoy playing blocks with your baby, reading to your children every night, playing games in the yard, trips to the pool or long chats with your teens about their friends and making good choices. For each of these things goes by so quickly and cannot be replayed except as special memories in your mind. I would also remind you to take more pictures, and videos, as these are the things that will jog your memory later in life.
All of the memories that are hidden away in some remote spot in a mom's aging brain become clearer when you see a picture of an event. This was evident when I was trying to pull together our family pictures for our oldest son’s wedding. Why is it that I took pictures of everything when our oldest son was little, and by the third child, the pictures are fewer and farther between? He was no less important for sure, but the time issue just didn’t seem to allow it to happen. I should have made the time!! How long could it have taken to take a picture of kids playing together in the yard, or eating dinner at the table together or doing homework? Those are the memories I long to have, the “normal” family times. Most family pictures are of “events”, which is fine, but documenting the simple things too, for they are the most special memories.
Lastly, I asked “my boys” about a re-do, and they all said, “You should have let us wrestle more!” How funny is that! Seems like such a simple thing, but I was always breaking up those boys for fear of them hurting one another. The louder it got, the more I was sure it would only lead to trouble, so I was the “girl” in the middle pulling them off of one another. My advice to young parents, enjoy the ride and try to live in the moment that you are given. You never know what lies ahead, and some of the hardest times in parenting may actually help you appreciate the wonderful times even more. I am continuing to give myself that advice as I am learning about parenting grown sons and now a grandmother! Thankfully, parenting never ends!