The “birds and the bees” talk is a sentinel moment and should be a required prerequisite before your child enters middle school. For some parents this “talk” is easy and does not intimidate them, but for others they get sweaty palms, and feel sick to their stomachs.is also a group in between. Wherever you fall in the spectrum really doesn’t matter, but this is one of the most important discussions parents will have with their children.  Many parents start discussing the differences between boys and girls as young as age 4 or 5.

I myself have given this talk countless times and teach a class at our church as well. But, when it was time to discuss this with our first son, I too felt ill prepared. The discussion was necessitated as he was about eight-years-old and kept singing a song with the words “sex you up” in it. Obviously, I had let him listen to some inappropriate song on the radio.

Nevertheless, this prompted my husband and myself to head to the bookstore to look for the appropriate book/books to begin the initial discussion and I know that book has been well worn over the years. It was not detailed, but explained in fairly simple terms how a “mommy and a daddy” each had “special parts, (which were identified correctly) that “connected” and that a sperm and an egg came together to make a baby. It was very basic, with simple cartoonish type pictures. We read the book and had a discussion together and answered any questions that he had. It went fairly well, he took in the information and went outside to play. That is just the beginning.

The time came up again for further discussion when he announced at about age nine that his pet hamster, Sally, “was going to have babies.” Immaculate conception alone in her cage. Discussion number two was just around the corner.

I myself do not think that any one discussion about human reproduction and sex is enough. It also depends when you begin these discussions. Some inquisitive children will ask hundreds of questions, while others won’t say a word, either way the talks must go on. Keep the information age appropriate no matter where you begin. Don’t be embarrassed as if you are they will be too. That is why it is called: The Facts of Life.

But as children enter their teen years I think the discussions should be explicit and open. If you think they cannot find any information they would like by just surfing the web, then wake up, as it is all there. I would much rather sit down with my own children and discuss every detail they would like to know and at the same type impart factual information as well as our family values.

The more information you give them the better decisions they may make. I believe that they should be taught abstinence, but also what to do if they are going to engage in pre-marital sex, which by the way does include oral sex. Let them know about condoms, birth control and other methods to prevent STD’s and pregnancy.

We are failing our children if we do not empower them to make thoughtful, well informed choices with as much guidance as we can give them. Seeing the teen birth rate on the rise should never be due to lack of information and family discussions.

That’s your daily dose, we’ll chat again tomorrow.

Send Dr. Sue your question now!